Seth sails to Africa
by goldenspringtime
Summary: Buffy the Vampire Slayer The O.C crossover What if Ryan leaving wasn't the only catalyst of Seth leaving. What if Seth ended up in Africa and isn't sure if he ever wants to go back. He meets up with Xander. Can Xander change his mind. On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The O.C.

Authors note: Yes the first chapter short and has no back story but I will hopefully upload a new bigger chapter soon. For future knowledge I will probably mess up verb tenses or point of views so don't bother to tell me that I already know.

I have no idea where I am. A few days ago my map to Tahiti fell overboard along with my grill and now I have no clue where I am. Wait. In the horizon was that... could it be? It was land very far off but there. I have no clue what the land is but I was excited. I steered the boat toward the shore and about 100 yards away the boat hit something the boat lurched forward and so did I fell and something hit my head and it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The O.C.

I feel water over half of me and then spilling down I fall back asleep.

There are many voices around me but I can't understand them. I Opened up my eyes and saw many people around me talking loudly. I realized I couldn't understand them because they were speaking a different language. At once I could tell how different I am from these people . I'm white I have expensive jeans , black long sleeved shirt and a logo on the t-shirt I have over it. On my feet I have converse shoes. They were black Africans and wore clothes like I never seen before. They didn't have shoes on their feet.

One of the big men shouted something and I guess it meant shut up because no one else said a word. The man looked over me and said something that I couldn't understand. After a minute or two of silence he spoke again louder and slower but that didn't help me understand what he was saying. I just shrugged my shoulders.

After a couple minutes of everyone starring at me a different man come toward me. The man motioned towards me and started walked. After a few seconds I realized I was suppose to follow him . The man took me to a small hut with straw which looked new so I guess it was for me. At the moment I really missed home or more specifically my bed. Then we went by bigger huts. One large table probably for meals. Then there was a hut that smelled on the other side away from all the others I figured it was the bathroom.

We walked into a jungle so dense I knew that if I lost sight of my guide I would be lost. I took awhile by the time everyone at the table was eating. My guide picked up a bowl and gave me some of whatever everybody was having. I starting eating of course I had no idea what I was eating. But after days of fish and then nothing when my grill fell over in the middle of the night with the map. Everybody was ignoring me because they knew I wouldn't be able to answer in their native tongue. After I finished dinner I wondered what I was supposed to do . There wasn't a dishwasher what was I suppose to do wash my own dish if so where. I didn't know if it was rude just to leave the table or not..

Out of the corner of my eye I saw black leather a thing none of the natives seemed to wear. I looked and saw something that I never though that would make me happy. A white guy with dark brown hair and an eye patch although that part was a little creepy. A leather coat, jeans and a t-shirt. Of course I told myself just because he's white doesn't mean he speaks English. He saw me and walked over to me.

"Do you speak English?" I could have hugged him if the very thought of it didn't make me nauseous.

"Yes! Yes I do."

"Well that's good if you spoke french or Italian or something else I wouldn't be able to interpret." He sat down uncomfortably near me. He seemed to notice because he gave me an apologetic smile.

"Not much room at the table."

"I understand." I said even though him made my breathing shallow.

"So what's your name and how did you get here?"

"Where is here?" Attempting to redirect the conversation.

"Nope you tell me your name and where your from and I tell you where you are,"

"Well I know I'm In Africa."

"Africa is a continent about 101 miles across and 5,000 miles long. Wouldn't you lie to know what country your in?" I considered for a moment lying to him but I had a feeling he'd know somehow.

"My name is Seth Cohen I'm from Newport, California."

"Seth my name is Xander and you are in Angola."

"Oh."

"You have no clue where Angola is do you."

"Um...not so much ." he gave a short laugh.

"Well I'm going to educate you." for the rest of the night he did then for the first time in my life I sleep on straw.

Authors note: I tried looking for African description of clothes but I never found one not for the region I'm looking for. Probably a lot of other details are wrong too. I'm trying to find accurate information but I haven't so this may come off as being ignorant.


	3. Chapter 3

Author note: Forgive I'm still ignorant

I'd been here for a couple weeks now my head was healing nicely with some of the natural herbs. Xander and I had grown closer together. We had to since Xander was the only person to speak English. I was learning some Umbundu from Xander. Xander and I talked many times I told him about home . I told him about Mom, Dad , Ryan , Marissa, Summer, and Anna. Most of all I told him I wasn't going back and I could see he disapproved and would always tell me I should go home. Fortunately he didn't send me away and we were friends now.

He told me about some friends of his Buffy, Willow and Giles. But I thought he was holding something back. I would tell stories about what happened and Xander would look like he was going to say something then would stop himself. Also Xander always left when the sun some up and wouldn't be back til 2:00 He would either walk into the jungle or drive away to only he knew where. I wanted to know where he was going. But since I couldn't follow his car I had to follow him into the jungle even though it came me the creeps.

So after 40 minutes of Xander just walking around. I thought maybe that all he does all day that's when I heard a growl behind me. I slowly turned around there was a green monster with horns and fangs. The monster lunged at me but I was still in a state of shock The monster would probably killed me had not Xander. Pushed me out of the way before my very eyes he toke a sword out and chopped off it's head. He then turned around like it was an everyday thing went over to me.

"What was that?"

"That was a Glahard demon."

"A what."

"A demon."

"You mean there are demons .Oh! I could have lived my whole life not knowing and been happy."

"Odds are you could've . ME if hadn't known I's probably be dead or a vampire by now."

"Vampires are real too!"

'Yeah most of them are evil but if you ever meet a vampire names Angel or spike first of all tell them hi and second of all they have souls so don't freak out."

"The existence of vampires and demons ...they're real. I was breathing shallowly .

"Ok here we go to every generation is born a slayer she alone will battle the evil and the forces of darkness.

'So you're the slayer?"

"No, didn't you listen I said she. The slayer well the original slayer at least was one of my two best friends in high school. The other slayers weren't as nice to me.

"There's slayers plural" is starting hyperventilating.

"Ok calm down Seth I won't tell you anymore til you just focus on not having a panic attack.

I tried my best to breathe and not think about demons, vampires and slayers. Once my breathing was normal I allowed myself to think about the supernatural and the existence of demons .

"I think I'm ready." Xander smiled.

"No one except for maybe Oz is ever ready . You see I grew up in Sunnydale, California which happens to be a hellmouth What is a hell mouth you may ask. Well it's pretty much what it sounds like. If the hell mouth opens hell comes into the world. Sunnydale isn't the only Hellmouth in fact Sunnydale isn't the active Hellmouth Cleveland is.. I found out about demons when I was your age too. Remember I told you about Buffy. Well...on the first day of my Sophomore year , I overheard Buffy talking to Giles about demons. I night I confronted her I thought she was crazy . Then she told me we needed to find Willow. When we found her we also found a group of vampires. When we were safe Buffy and Giles told us about vampires.

"So Vampires are real?" Making sure I hadn't imagined the whole thing Xander smiled

"Yes.'

"Since vampires are real what else is real?" Xander laughed and by the end of the night I wished I hadn't asked.

Author note: I have no clue why I'm continuing this since it's not very good but for now I haven't given up on it yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors note: I don't own Buffy the vampire Slayer or the OC.

Xander was off again this time in the car. Leaving me by myself which was the best and worst thing for me. When I was alone no one tried to make me talk about things I didn't want to. But when I was alone I had no nothing else to think about then what happened . How I would never be able back home and looking them in the eye knowing what I had let happen to me. How weak I was not being able to prevent it. NO! I wasn't going to think about it. That why I left so I could forget that it happened so I wouldn't have to think about it. I needed to do something to do I wanted to go for a walk but it was too hot. Unless I went in the forest and after seeing that demon a few days ago there was no way that was going to happen besides the fact I'd most likely get myself lost.

Instead I settled for picking up small stones and throw them a short distance it wasn't much of a distraction from my thought but it was the best I could come with so little supplies. For the millionth time berated myself for not bringing my iPod. Sure it would have ran out of batteries by now but Xander had batteries that he probably let me barrow from him. But it was moot seeing as it was still in my room at home. Cool and comfy and definitely better off then me.

Hours passed as I waited bored for Xander to come back so that I could have someone to talk to. I was running out of pointless and only slight mind-numbing things to do when Xander drove up in his car, got out and went straight to me grinning . My heart hammered in my chest why did he come right to me instead of straight to get some food as usual? When he was a few feet away from me he grinned. I made myself relax a little. He put down his duffle bag in front me and squatted opened it and rooted around in it for who know what. He took a small red book it was simple but it had personal touched such as a feather and some bead glued onto it and to my surprise he gave it me.

"Here's a journal."

"I couldn't your already taking care of me I couldn't." but the grin his face never wavered.

"How many times will you travel to Angola you have to have something to keep track of events." With that said he went to the food and left the journal in my hands. I looked at the cover is was just a red journal except the touches on the cover probably actually hand done instead of machine done. It was nice and since it was nice I didn't want to get it dirty when I ate so walked over the hut that was my home for until I decided to go home which wouldn't be any time soon.

I put the journal in the hut and walked over to get some food. Xander took care of this village because they let him stay here. He gave them most of the food. I hadn't know that until a few days ago but I had seen Xander drive up with food and then we had some of the food for dinner. It wasn't hard to connect the dots.

I walked over to the serving table and got some of whatever we were eating It was time like these that I missed home I missed the take out food. My mom's cooking might even beat the stuff I was eating(by a narrow margin). But that was probably because I had no clue what was in it. I couldn't identify any of the vegetables or what kind of meat I was eating.

After I was finished eating whatever it was that I was eating I put my bowl with the others. Now it was what I deemed social hour when all the occupant of the town talked to each other and I could only understand a word here and there. Sometime I stayed and watched them wondering what they were talking about but having no way of really knowing. Especially because during social hour Xander talked a lot it was the one time that he was here that I knew he was unliveable unless an emergency. Other time when I wasn't in the mood I would just go back to the hut until Xander came and got me.

I decided to stay and was watching two women talk speedily at each other. If I concentrated I could see instead two white blond girl talking to each other about shopping or something trivial like that. This was the only time I allowed myself to think about home. It wasn't even home directly just about American culture and how it differed and yet in some ways the same. I took comfort in things that were similar to home here because it made me feel like I wasn't so far away from home. I missed home so badly but I couldn't go home I couldn't because then I would have to face up to what happened to me and I rather pretend that it never happened and I could only do that away from home with people not at all related to home. It even helped that only one them could actually talk to me for more then one or two words.

Speaking of the locals a group of tribe men or at least that how I saw them came up me. I wondered what they wanted but since I had no idea how to ask I just smiled. They came closer uncomfortably close then one of the tribe men touched my on the shoulder and I involuntarily flinched. I looked around to see if anyone noticed no one was looking at me so I guessed no one had. I turned to look at the man and gave him a smile since I only know a few words and right now couldn't think of any of them. The man said something to me I think it was greeting so I searched for an appropriate response and drew up a blank because most of my mind was freaking out that he had touched me what had been thinking touching me. He shouldn't have touched me. You don't just touch a person without their permission. If he had asked the answer would been a astounding no! Could he feel it on me? Calm down I told myself he's waiting for an answer and while he's waiting he's starring at you. You've got to answer him to get him to stop him from looking at like that like you some- don't go there I told myself. I took a few deep breaths and I finally wound down enough to say the greeting back and the man moved on.

I sighed in relief and realized that I didn't want to be out here any more and went back to my hut. Mental exhaustion toke over me from the all emotion I'd been going through today and I quickly fell asleep. I didn't realize that falling asleep would mean forfeiting talking with Xander which I had been looking forward to all day. All I knew was that I didn't want to think anymore it was too hard and the lack of thinking that sleep brought was just what I needed with that thought I fell asleep.

Author's Note: Yes it's been a while since I've updated. And yes it's a lot longer then my other ones. Does it drag? Who thinks this would do better in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers? The story pretty good but the beginning kind of sucks does any one have any helpful advice?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The OC.

Authors Note: I switched the categories for this story, it used to be in The OC then I switched it to Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers then I remembered I didn't tell anyone that I switched it so I'm switching it back to the OC so that next chapter I can switch back to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers. That made absolutely no sense didn't it? Anyway on with the story.

_Dear Journal, _

_I've been here for about 2 months. It's strange that I've been here for only a little time and yet part feels like I've lived here my whole life instead of California.Ever since I found out about demons I've been worried about Xander. Every time he comes back safely or at all I'm happy. I want to help him I'm just not sure how. I miss California sometimes. Mostly the people in California. Ryan the most but even if I was home he wouldn't be, he would waiting to see if Theresa's baby is his. If Ryan hadn't left home I probably would have had the strength to stay. No venturing into forbidden territory! _

I smacked my journal closed and threw it down with the pen both of which I had gotten from Xander a few weeks ago, onto the ground. I glared at it when it was really me I was mad at. I took a deep breath still looking at my journal but no longer angry. Writing in a journal was supposed to be therapeutic, definitely not if you ended up getting angry at it. I pick up my journal from the ground and brushed off the dirt. Opening it up again to the page it was before. I picked up the pen and put it to the paper. I hesitated, maybe if I wrote out what was bothering me then it would therapeutic.

_Something happened to me before I left California._

"Hey ." Xander said interrupting my journal confessing.

"Hey." I said glancing up.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Yeah sure." I put down the pen and journal onto the wooden table I was sitting at somewhat gladly somewhat sadly.

"Would you consider us friends?"

"Yeah of course.. I mean you're the only one here who speaks English. I only know enough to get by."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No, I mean your fun- well the thing with demons was scary at first but now I think I've gotten used to the idea of them. You're a good guy and..." I trailed off thinking of what I liked about him.

"Seth I don't know how to ask this question correctly but were you raped?" I gave him an

unintentional frightened glance then covered it with a fake smile that I hoped looked real. While I was thinking of some way to blow off the question then he said.

"I was too." I looked over at him trying to figure out whether or not if he was telling the truth. If he wasn't then any friendship we would have had would be over and I'd probably have to find somewhere else to run to.

"My dad...would get drunk and most of the time he would just hurt me or my mom. But... in my teenage years it wasn't enough for him." I bit my lip I didn't want to say it aloud because that would mean it was true and I couldn't pretend it hadn't happened anymore. It was only way of getting through it, going to another place where no one knew me and pretending to be who I used to be without anyone being able to tell the difference. But he had gone through the same thing as me . He was a good guy who loved to help people, he saved lives and I could tell that he honestly cared. Worst or best of all I trusted him. Trusted him with the secret I couldn't allow myself to trust to anyone else.

"I was raped." I said quietly saying it aloud for the first time since it happened.

"I'm sorry Seth that had to be rough." I could tell he really meant it and knew what I was going through.

"But it wasn't my father." trying to deflect it off me, still not ready to talk just yet but grateful that if I did he would listen to me.

"Let's not play the who has the worst life game I'm pretty sure I win. Although you do have that 16 years of loneliness going for you. You did not have to kill the demon that was wearing your best friends face. You did not branch the slayer line. Or steal weapons from the government, or lose an eye. Not that I'm complaining or anything." I wanted to make a joke about him complaining because that would mean that nothing had changed. That not only did he not know my secret, that he had never had it happen to him also . I wanted to make a joke but I couldn't. The only thing I could do was hug him. Half for his pain half for mine.

Author's note: I've decide I don't care if anyone reading this I'm doing it for me now and hopefully that will be good enough. I should tell you though I have about 44 pages of writing . But I write then I find connecters and sometimes connecters take a while.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC if I did Adam Brody would be mine.

Author note: This has been up til now in The OC but I changed it Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers.

I remembered watching Xander fight the demon, how fast he moved and how strong he was. I longed to be as strong so that no one could manhandle me. So that I could handle myself and I wouldn't be weak. Also I was worried about Xander out there all alone with who knows how many demons ,vampires and other monsters out there. I had thought about it a lot for the last couple of days and I had finally got up enough courage to ask Xander if he would teach me how to fight.

Xander was in his house/hut thing. I'm not allowed to go in there so I knocked on his door. After a few minutes he came out.

"You wanted something Seth?"

"Xander can you teach me how to fight?" I said not beating around the bush.

"Sure but can I ask why?"

"So I can help you fight demons...and so no one can ever do that to me again." and also the super secret reason. If he was teaching me to fight he wouldn't be trying to get me to talk about what happened to me. Not that it made any of the other reasons less valid.

"All right. But I gotta warn you . You will get bruises and you be sore until your muscles are strengthened. Also broken bones are not out of the question. My only question keeping these things in mind is are you sure you want to do this?" and touching you forgot that but it was something I really wanted to learn.

"Yeah I want to do this. Please teach me."

"All right then starting tomorrow I teach you to fight." he smiled " that sounded so karate kid." he laughed and then did the wash on wash off motions. I laughed too trying to cover up how nervous I was about the whole thing.

The day and night seemed to speed by incredibly quickly because of my nerves. Before I knew it

was the next morning and I was anxious and excited at the prospect of learning how to fight. Anxious because it probably would involve some bodily harm and some awkward physical contact which I had been avoiding until now. Excited because eventually I would be able to kick some butt. I went over to Xander who was talking to Abeche one the men the in the village. I had a wide grin full of expectation on my face. When he turned to face me.

"Breakfast first you need to have strength if your going exert yourself physically." my smile drooped.

"Seth eat something. Once you eat something I'll teach you." I obediently sat down and starting eat, all the time making faces at Xander. He made a point of not laughing at me or even looking at me until I was finished. Then he looked at me and said.

"So you want to learn how to fight?"earnestly I said.

"I want to help you." he smiled.

"Alright I'm going to show you something I've never show anyone else here." he made a follow me motion. He lead me into the forest he knew where he was going but I lost track of where we were the second we got into forest. It all looked the same to me trees, trees, trees and more trees. Then suddenly we were in a clearing. I looked around and saw many, many weapons. Most of them I could identify such as swords, crossbows, and stakes for the vampires of course. Of course? I had accepted the idea of monster enough that it was an of course? I shook my head to clear out my thoughts and focus on what Xander wanted to say/teach me.

"Ok you pretty much know the names of all these weapons. Though you probably have never touched one. Or will be doing today. Today is more of an assessment to where you are and an introduction of what you will be learning in the future.

"Ok first thing first. What I will be teaching you is what Buffy taught me. It's a mixture of Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Kick Boxing , and many other butt kicking arts. The first thing they all tell you in all self-defense, self-mastery, and martial arts is that these classes not a way to beat up other kids for revenge. Not a way for you to get back at other people for beating you up so if you come across the people who beat you up again-"

"You don't have to worry about that because I'm not going back, ever."

"I know that but what if you go somewhere else and meet someone who reminds of that person what then?"

"It won't happen because I'm never leaving Angola ok?"

"In any case it's to teach you discipline of body and mind. Of corse our will be little different because it will be practical knowledge and if you kick is a little more to the left then it should be then you could die." he smiled brightly " On that pleasant note I'll start the physical."

"Physical?"

"Yeah I want to see your ability level as of now, so I know how much work you need."

"Ok, that's easy my ability level is non-existent. Pretty much the only thing I do in a physical situation is crawl into a ball and wait til it's over and sometime I'm not even that smart and end up taking it in the face. Until Ryan came then I used him as a shield and didn't have to use my severely lacking defense measures."

"Be that as it may I still have to see what you can do." I nodded with a grimace on my face.

"Let me how you punch."

"I don't punch I merely get hit." attempting a joke. Xander didn't look amused though. So I made a fist with my thumb in the middle so it would be protected by my other fingers. I tried to bring it forward with all my strength and ended up stumbling a little. I saw Xander smile then quickly cover it up.

"Ok if you do that when you hit the person you might break your thumb so make sure your thumb stays out of your fist."

"I told you I don't really punch."

"Apparently. I'm kidding Seth of corse you don't if you did you wouldn't need to learn would you?

"Um..no?"

"No you wouldn't. Ok now I need to test you again so move over to the middle of the clearing." I complied.

"I need to test your ability to doge. So I'm going to throw stuff at you and see how many you can doge."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Extremely. It's to test how good your reflexes are. I'm only going to throw one every ten second so you'll be able to see it coming" I grimaced and he picked some small rocks to throw at me.

"You can still change you mind if you want." I thought about it for a minute but decided a few bruises would be worth it. He starting throwing the rocks at me and even though he said he would only throw one every ten seconds I was sure he lied.

"Ok Seth you can stop." he said with a laugh in his voice follow by Xander laughing boisterously at my attempt to doge. I had only dodged one or two the rest had hit me and hard.

"Don't laugh at my meager skills." especially because I'm sure they left bruises.

"I not laughing because of that I'm laughing because you look like I did when I was learning and Buffy laughed at me. She said it was the privilege of the more knowledgeable to mock and laugh at the less knowledgeable as long as it's in good fun."

"Well, I'll keep that in mind."

"Planning on teaching too?"

"Ha! I can't even doge how can I even think about teaching!"

"Well maybe after you prefect dodging you can be the best dodge ball player you can be."

"A least one good thing will come from these bruises. It wouldn't be bad if I wasn't wearing shorts."

"You mean you weren't wearing my shorts."

"Does it matter?"

"No I think it just needed to be said." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey do you want more rocks thrown at you." I shook my head very quickly not wanting to get my delicate body bruised again.

"One last physical thing." he handed me a stake. I looked at him eyebrows furrowed.

"Show me how you would stake a vampire." I looked at the stake in my hand like it would tell how to use it. Unfortunately since it was a stake it didn't say anything. I used an downward stabbing motion and looked at Xander for indication weather or not I did it right.

"It's best to do it from the side but what you did was ok." I nodded pretending I had a clue what he was talking about.

" Look I want to start you off slow and build up, so you can sit down now. It the practical side of demon hunting that I'm going to teach you now. If you don't know this stuff there's no way you can be a demon hunter or a slayer finder. Because I'm actually both but the only aspect you will see is the demon hunting aspect. Anyways. This is a how to kill monsters lecture. I may have other lectures later but for now it's the only one planned and it shouldn't take too long. I never liked lectures so tell me if it doesn't sound lecturey enough to you.

There are different kind of monster that need killing. The one we will probably see most often is the vampire. To kill the vampire there are various things you can try. Decapitation, staking, setting fire to one, similar to staking but not exactly the same, crossbow arrow through the heart..

Things that hurt vampires but won't necessarily kill them are holy water , crosses, and sunlight. Sunlight will kill them if they're in it long enough but most vampires are smart enough to get out of direct sunlight. Holy water will kill a vampire if you can convince them to drink it. Demons are more difficult sometimes only certain things can kill them. Sometimes it's pure silver it takes down various demons and also werewolves but try not to hurt a werewolf unless it's necessarily. I had a friend named Oz he was a werewolf but now he doesn't change anymore I think. I haven't talk to him in a while." then he look at me sheepishly.

"Sorry going off topic there. Some times there are super demons. Now they are really hard to kill. Sometimes you have to blow them up. We had to do that with the Judge and the Mayor.

Don't get me starting on gods they are a pain. We only had to take on one but man she was petty and whiny and she just wouldn't shut up about going home. Not even thinking about how it would destroy our world. With her it was me, me, me. And boy am I getting sidetracked! That lecture turned into a speech and went on way longer then I thought it would" I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Anyway that's it for today, tune in tomorrow and we might have something more interesting to tune into." he started leaving.

"Xander." he turned back around to face me I quickly got up and went up to him.

"I don't know the way back without you." I said sheepishly he grinned and just for that moment everything was alright.

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC

I had been here for about 3 months. Learning how to help Xander slay the demons, building strength and muscles. But mostly just generally getting lost in my surroundings.

Me and Xander had just finished sparring. We were drinking bottles of water till I got up enough energy to walk back to the village. Xander looked at me and I groaned inwardly.

"Seth." I know what he wanted to talk about, we hadn't talked about anything else for the past week.

"Xander, please don't."

"I usually let it slide but not this time. Seth, they're incredibly worried about you. They don't know where you are, who your with and your parents seem to actually care. For them it must be their worst night mare." I cast my eye down and decided that my shoes were a lot more interesting then looking Xander in the face.

"I know their worried. I know they want to hear from me but...it's too hard to think about them impossible to talk to them." he gave me a sympathetic glance then his facial expressions hardened a little. I knew that what ever he said next would be an order, how ever softly phrased it was.

"Seth you've got to at least tell them that your not going back to school."

"Can't I text them?'

"My phone doesn't have text but even if it did you would have to call them." he put his phone in my hand and covered it with his hand.

"Call them." it was no longer a request but an order. I took a deep breath and looked at Xander as if he could some how save me. Which was ridiculous because he was the one that was forcing me to do this in the first place. I cleared my throat loudly and dialed their number, my number it had been my number since I could remember. Ring...ring...ring... my heart rose maybe they wouldn't answer it and I would off the hook at least for today. Then I heard

"Hello?" It was my dad and I got so frightened that I dropped the phone. I could hear "Hello? Hello?" then a click. Then I looked at Xander apologetically and tried my best kicked dog look. "I'm sorry that I dropped your phone."

"Call again." he said nonplused and he picked up the cell phone and handed it back to me. I dialed the number again.

"Hello." It was dad again slightly annoyed, he had caller id and know that it was the same person who had called him and hadn't said anything before. I took a deep breath."

"Hi dad."

"Seth?" he said his voice going high like he was trying not to cry."

"Yeah dad it's me."

"Where are you?"

'That's not important, the important thing is that I'm not going back, ever and that would include school. "

"Seth wait what do you mean-"

"I love you dad make sure to tell mom I love her too. And tell Ryan that it's not he's fault bye.

"Wait Seth-" but I didn't I clicked the end button.

"That was short."

"You weren't expecting me break down and tell them everything and be on the next plane to California did you?"

"No but they're your parents and they're worried about you."

"I talked to them. They know I'm not dead and they know not expect me any time soon. What else is there to say."

"Seth."

"No I talked to them that's all you said to do okay?"

"Ok." he said then we had a couple of minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"So...crazy macho chicken lepers? "

"What?" Xander said with a slight laugh in his voice.

"It was the first thing I could think of." he shook his head in mock shame. Then he started laughing then I started laughing. We couldn't stop and we laughed off all the tension between us. When we were finally able to stop we continued grinning at each other. Then I remembered that I had just talked to my dad for the first time in 3 months and my smile faded off my face. Xander noticed and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you ok Seth?"

"No. Not really." I said choosing not elaborate. Fortunately he decided not to push it. He gave me a small smile and motioned towards the trees.

"Are you ready to go back?" I nodded and followed Xander back to the village trying not to think of my dad or anyone but me and Xander.

Authors Note: I hope this wasn't too bad I'm not too happy with it. Review please!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC

I woke up and was hungry but could no longer eat before breakfast, as I tended to throw up when we sparred if I had eaten before. Instead I waited at the breakfast table for Xander to show up, trying not to think about the delicious food in front of me. After about ten minutes of waiting I heard.

"Come on it's time to train." he didn't look to see if I was following him because he knew that I was. I followed him into the training area. We wrapped our knuckles and preceded to start stretching. My feeble muscles had been strengthened a little in the last couple weeks of training with Xander but he still didn't allow me to actually help with the actual slayage yet. Probably because I couldn't even lay a hit on Xander and a vampire was faster then Xander.

We finished stretching and we went into the exercises. I would follow Xander through the kicks and punches, it was a lot easier now since my body had starting getting used to be used. After we went through the old punches and kicks. He would spend how ever much time teaching me a new one and sometimes reteaching me the one from the day before if I did it really badly. Today I learned how to do a round house kick.

Then came the hardest part the sparring. Xander was just too fast and I could never hit him no matter hard I tried. Believe I tried really hard but I could never hit him and often ended up with multiple bruises to add to my collection. I was pretty much covered in bruises and each day I got more. I knew learning to fight would be painful I just hadn't known how much. Xander punched me in the chest snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Come on you gotta be faster then that if you want to hit me." I tried to be faster but he just caught my arm. He singled a time out and walked over to me.

"Ok use creative visualization. Pretend I'm those guys who raped you." I tried but I couldn't see Xander my friend as those evil guys who raped me.

"I can't you're my closest friend ." he look at me sympathetically.

"Seth." I know that tone, he was trying to convince me to go to home.

"No. I'm not ready." Xander sighed.

"Will you at least call them?" I looked down.

"I called them a month ago." He looked intently at me expecting me to say something. When I didn't he said.

"Yes to tell them your not going back to school yet."

"I can't go back home.'

"Seth." he started.

"Don't " I walked into the jungle and heard a sigh behind me. Why did we have this conversation so much he knew that I didn't want to go back and I knew he wanted me to go back. While it was really frustrating at least Xander hadn't tried to make go back and I was very grateful for that. I don't know what I would do if he tried to force me to .

I didn't think enough about my running away plans. If I hadn't been so distraught I would have gone live with some one I know. Luke in Portland or Anna in Pittsburgh. I hadn't been thinking though and I just left with food and clothing sailing to god knows where. Ending up Angola I'm still not sure how I managed to end up in Africa. Finding some other place to hide at 16? I'd probably end up in the streets but I'd rather do that then go home.

Author's note: I don't really like it but tell me what you think. Review!


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The OC

We were on the trail of something, I had no idea what. I couldn't even read tracks like Xander even after 5 months. After all this time I had finally learned how to be silent while creeping through the forest. Which meant I wasn't giving out our position to the demon we were hunting, which had happened a lot before. Which had usually ended up with me groaning in pain. Now I actually dealt with pain better too, since I had gotten hurt a lot here, but it was a hurt that I could control.

I had even got used to the extra weight of the weapons I would carry. I had become leaner, meaner and more muscley. I had killed several demons too and I was definitely shaping up to become a great demon hunter.

Xander starting slowing down and stepping quietly. Which meant that he either heard something I hadn't. Or his sense of evil things which he had developed living on the hellmouth had sensed something. I slowed down too and searched the surrounding area for anything that wasn't supposed to be there. I raised my sword quietly and stepped quietly towards Xander while looking around quickly in all directions.

In the corner of my eye I saw a blue thing(most likely a demon) streak by me so I went after the blue thing. I cornered it against a patch of trees and found that it was a demon like I had thought . It was about 5 feet high, three purple eyes, a fat blue body and was staring at me frightened. I was about to put my sword through it's neck when I heard.

"Seth stop!"

"What?! Why?!"

"That a Barklahod demon they don't hurt humans and they are good demons."

"There are such thing as good demons?" I said still not looking away from the demon still I had my sword to his neck. The demon eyes showed the demon was terrified, but part of me just wanted to put the sword through him anyway. The bigger part of me know that Xander would never let a harmful demon go free, so he had to be telling the truth.

"Not good demons so much as they don't hurt humans and some are even good for the environment." I lifted the sword away from it's neck and slowly let my grasp lessen until the whatever demon ran away. I walked over to Xander somewhat grouchily.

"The world used to be so simple. Demons. Bad. Now I have figure out whether or not a demon is bad before I kill it?! It's so not fair." Xander smiled at my statement.

"Yes well no one ever said that demons were fair did they?"

"No. But life suppose to be not fair not demons."

"Well both are unfair along with a lot of other things."

"True. So more hunting or are we going to go back now?"

"10 more minutes then we go back."

"Ok." So we searched the dark trees for ten more minutes, with nothing more then a few animals noises coming from a distance. Xander suddenly stopped and I almost ran into his back. He turned around and saw me so close to his back and smiled.

Then Xander took the g.p.s. out of his pocket and shined his flashlight on it. It was hard to find our way back in the daylight but at night without a g.p.s. it was impossible. He started moving and I followed him. I hating following him back because I know that if I lost sight of him, I would be lost. If I was lost then I would have to rely on my almost non-existent wilderness skills. So made sure I stayed close to him but also keeping an eye out for any demons who might attack us. Since most of Xanders attention was on the g.p.s. and being able to walk while pointing the flashlight at the g.p.s it was mostly up to me to make sure we weren't attacked. About 20 later we broke out of the trees with no mishaps and went to out respective places. As usual since patrolling and training was so tiring I feel asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Author's note: If at least three people review I'll add two chapters next time. ;) ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC

Xander and I were going on a routine hunt. Which consists us wandering around the jungle at night, hoping to find a demon to kill and not die by some other means. It had been up till this point a relatively uneventful evening. No demons were showing their faces, so we were unable to kill any demons. My night vision was getting better, since I was mostly awake at night and slept during the day. Xander was in front as he usually was, because he was stronger and more able to fight the demon then me and had a lot more experience.

I scanned the surrounding area looking for anything that could be unhuman. My flashlight went over something with blood red luminous eyes. I saw that the demon was green with white ram like horns, but before I could even lift my sword or make out any other features the demon moved. The demon moved so fast he blurred. He blurred toward me and before I could register anything else the demon hit me hard in the chest and I fell to the ground.

I couldn't breath and just for a second I thought this is it, I'm dying. Then I heard Xander grunting as he fought the demon and a loud scream that wasn't Xanders. My eyes flew open I wasn't dead. I was perfectly alive, that's when I toke a deep breath and realized that perfectly wasn't exactly the word I should use. My lower left ribs hurt really bad and I whimpered slightly. Then Xander came into my view, upside down his shirt covered in green blood with a look of concern on his face.

"Are you ok?" He held his hand out to me and I grabbed it. I pulled myself up wincing the whole time.

"Um...no...my ribs hurt really bad." He looked my chest and jerked his head up.

"Take off your shirt."

"Not until you buy me dinner and a movie." he didn't laugh and keep looking at me shirt. So I took it off. Xander carefully touched my ribs and I screamed really loud. My pain threshold was higher then it used to be but it still wasn't anywhere near Xanders.

"I think that your ribs might be bruised. Could be worse they could be broken."

"Have you ever had a bruised rib?" Xander winced.

"No, I had a broken rib. Me and Buffy were sparring, I guess she forgot her strength for a second because she hit me and she broke my rib. It wasn't fun but I got over it...eventually. You just need a few days off your feet and probably no patrolling for awhile."

"Not a problem, I don't think I'll ever get up once I get in bed." Xander reached into his pocket for pills he always kept in there and gave me two ibuprofen. I dry swallowed them and hoped they would kick in soon.

Xander helped me back to my place and helped me lay down. I wanted to go to sleep to stop the pain that wouldn't go away until the ibuprofen kicked in. Even then it might not take all the pain away. My mind went back to when the demon had kicked me I had thought I was dying. Which had fortunately been overaction but what if it wasn't an overreaction next time? What if I died here? My family would never know what had happened to me, they wouldn't know unless Xander flew my dead body to them. They would be devastated and would probably think somehow it was their fault.

The more and more I thought about what would happen to me if I died here, the more I disliked the scenario. I could be more careful or stop going with Xander on patrol. But I knew that as long as demons existed and I knew I could help, stop them I would. There was really only one thing I could do and that was to leave here. Where would I go? To Anna's? To Luke's? Home?

Wait, home? Could I actually do that? Could I just go home? I had planned running away from there since I was 10. Everyone there was so superficial, the bullies had peed in my shoes and other bad things. Ryan had made it better but he wouldn't be there. Although I could take care of the bullies if I had to now, with all the training with Xander I had . I would have to face what had happened to me too and I have been running away from that for a while.

But I knew the only way I could truly get over it and become happier healthier was to go home. To face what had happened to me. I didn't want to go home, not really. I wanted to see my family but what if they no longer wanted to see me? What if I couldn't handle it? There were so many what if's they kept me up half the night. When I finally got to sleep I dreamt about blood red luminous eyes.

Author note: I did some research and imagine my surprise when I figured out your not supposed to wrap ribs because it can give you Pneumonia. Anyway review please! In fact I'll beg for reviews which I told myself I'd never do. Please! Please! Pretty pretty please! For the love of me please review!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC

I had been thinking about this for the last couple of days. I had come to the conclusion that I needed to do this. The only thing left to do was to tell Xander. I walked over to where I could see Xanders place and was suddenly overwhelmed with thoughts.

Could I do this? Could I go home? Once I told Xander there would no going back. I would have to go home. The thought was scary, but It was time I stopped running away from it and actually deal with it. No matter how scary it seemed. I went to Xanders door and put up my hand to knock only to put it back down. What if I couldn't handle being home what if the second I was back there I would want to just leave again? Was that fair to my family? Was that fair to myself? Could I handle this? I took a couple deep deep deep breaths.

I knew it was time. I knew it deep inside me it was time to face what I had running away from. I raised my fist again and knocked. I started getting more nervous. Was I doing the right thing? Before I could get too deeply into my thoughts Xander opened the door. He gestured me inside which I had only been in a couple times. He sat down next to some swords. Xander gestured to the seat next to his. For a few minutes neither of us said anything. I went through all the things I had told myself over the last few days and even though I still had a lot of doubts I knew it was time. I took a couple very deep breaths and cleared my throat.

"Xander?

"Seth you should really be in bed." he said starting to sharpening his blades from last nights adventure. Which coincidently was when I decided this.

"I'm ready to go home" he looked up and put down the swords.

"You sure?" I gave a short laugh. How dare he ask me that? He had been trying to send me home ever since I got here.

" Of course I'm not sure...but it's time I feel it, all of it.." he smiled a sad smile.

"Your going to tell them? "

"I have to if I have any chance of being let back into school."

"I think I have inspiration to tell my friends. Who are more like family then my family ever was.

"Well one thing I learned here is that some parents may not always be there but my parents are."

"The fact that your father doesn't drink and rape you is particularly nice."

"Yeah it is ."

"So when are we leaving ?"

"We"

"Yeah we I need to drive you to the airport anyways and I miss California. Besides it's makes it less likely you'll back out at the last second. Besides your too young to get a rental car so your parents would have to pick you up from the airport. And you've always wanted to see the hole in the ground which is Sunnydale, so we can stop there before I drive you home." my heart warmed slightly at least I wouldn't be going through this alone. Xander would be there and he would protect me like he always did.

Authors's note after this chapter this story will split into two parts. Yes I know it's weird to AU my own story but that what's happening. The normal well as normal as Buffy the Vampire and an OC crossover can be will be continued in this one. While there will be a newer and a lot darker one called Going Dark Side. It will be the same story up till this point but will change drastically and will probably be updated more often then the one that's staying here. Though the first few chapter will be pretty much identical to each other.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or The OC

My bags were packed and placed in the back of Xanders jeep. I took one last glance at the place that had been home for the last six months and in all likely hood would never see again.

"You ready?" I nodded and got up into the car. Xander put the jeep in drive and we started on our way to the airport. It was hot and since we were in jeep there was no air conditioning. After a couple hours of silence in which I was battling sleep since I hadn't gotten much last night, Xander suddenly said."You do know that when you tell them this. That Ryan will feel bad because you told me and not him.

"But you asked me and if you don't mind me asking how did you know?"

"I didn't... You didn't mind when the village women touched you but when ever the men did you freaked."

"Oh I thought no one noticed."

"I wouldn't of if I hadn't worked to control that particular reaction myself."

"Well I'll them that if they ask me." I said satisfied.

"If you say that they'll feel guilty for not noticing.'

"Sometimes I really don't like you." about a half an hour later. Xander pulled over and spoke up.

"Seth." I looked over at Xander.

"I have an offer to make you. We are low on watchers. In fact part of the reason I'm coming with you. I'm not going back I'm going to England to become a watcher. If you want, when your older of course you can become a watcher.

"Really?"

"Yeah you know demons you've faced them and you know Umbundu . While you lack in the experience department your about as qualified as me to be a watcher. Just something to think about don't give an answer now." he pulled out and we continued our very hot drive to the airport.

After a couple hours of riding in the car without Air Condition we finally got to the airport. After we went through security, customs, and everything else we went to the plane that would take me home. Xander saw it first and turned me around to face it as he said

"Here we are." it was a small green plane and it had little nicks all over it like it wouldn't hold together long enough to get me to my destination. The paint was peeling in places and

I gazed at the small plane and I starting feeling nauseous it looked so small it looked like my worst nightmare.

"WOW this is a really small plane and did I mention sometimes I get airsick and claustrophobic."

"Yes twice now stop procrastinating and get in ." I swallowed not just because of the flight but also because what was waiting for me when we landed my family. I took a deep breath and counted to ten then I boarded the plane. It look a lot nicer on the inside the seats were nice and it starting feeling like planes I had been on before. Since we were still on the ground I wasn't too scared. I walked down the aisle down to where Xander was already sitting preparing for take off. I sat next to him and after a couple minutes I starting getting nervous again this time about going home. I tried taking a couple of breaths but it didn't seem to move. Then the Captain came over the air and said we were ready for take off and I was now worried about the plane crashing . This was nothing compared to my actual terror when the plane actually started moving. Xander apparently found my terror hilarious because he had his hand over his mouth in an attempt to cover up the fact he was laughing but doing a very poor job. I was trying to focus on breathing especially when we started rising at a sharp angle. When we finally straightened out I made the mistake of looking out the window.

"Oh my gosh we are really high!" several people turned to look at me and Xander and Xander glared at me.

" High, we are really high oh my gosh we are really really high." I said softer so that only Xander could hear. He grimaced but didn't say anything. I was breathing deep when all the sudden the plant jolted slightly.

"Oh my gosh we are going to die" I said straining to keep from screaming it at the top of my lungs.

"Seth calm down it's just turbulence and a very slight amount of it at that."

"No it's not _just_ turbulence we are going to die." he rolled his eyes. The next couple of minutes I

"Were going to die " I said under my breath so that I wouldn't annoy Xander. Then I just breathed deep for awhile then I glanced at the wall and as I watched they seem to get smaller and smaller. It seemed like soon they would crush me and everyone in the plane for it's own sadistic pleasure. Before I could stop myself I screamed

"Oh my gosh this plane is small!" Everyone looked at me.

"It's ok. He's just really scared of flying pay no attention to him." Xander said pleasantly.

"Seth if you don't shut up I'm going to gag you." said in low voice to me and I could tell that he meant it. Since I couldn't say anything to sooth myself I decided to try to listen to some of Xanders music. Oh how I missed Death Cab for Cutie. Some of it was ok I already knew which ones I could stand and which ones I couldn't. So I put in a CD and starting mouthing the words. I was tired from the lack of sleep last night. I yawned and I closed my eyes decided to take the ostrich in the sand approach, if I can't see then it doesn't exist.

What felt like minutes later something was shaking my shoulder I tried to swat it away but it grabbed my arm mid-swat. I blearily opened my eyes to see Xander with my arm in his hand.

"We're here." he said . I got up and looked around to see that all the stuff I had had out had already been put away. I shook myself awake and stood up to see that most of the people had already left. I straightened my shirt and ran my hand through my hair wishing I had a mirror so that I could how I looked. Which was kinda of weird when I had been in Angola I hadn't cared any about how I looked. Now that I was back in the city even though I couldn't see the city at the moment I suddenly cared again. I pondered this while I got into the airport. The first thing I noticed was lots and lots of white people. Then after that came the scenery outside. Santa Barbra, California mere hours riding in a car to my home. We claimed our baggage and then walked over the car rental.

"Please tell me that the car you got has air conditioning!" I exclaimed suddenly it was in the middle of the day and I didn't want a repeat of the car ride to the airport.

"Yes I made sure for you. I'm kind of used to the heat."

"Aren't you special." Though very grateful for the air conditioning . About 25 minutes later we drove out of the garage and then suddenly we had a view of the city.

"Wow it's a city I haven't seen one of these in six months."

"You better get used to them your going to live in one again."he said smiling and I smiled back trying to forget I was within 200 miles of my parents.

Author's Note: I'm pretty sure Seth isn't afraid of heights that's just creative license on my part. Although the Claustrophobia is on the show.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer : I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the OC.

The car was thankfully air conditioned. It took a couple of hours to drive down . But it seemed a lot faster then the ride to the airport. Since I recognized things here and everything there had been unfamiliar. We had conversations but nothing important and nothing about what was to come. We talked about Xanders friends and family. We talked about cd and music although both of us were a little out of touch with the world right now. Xander more then me but I didn't really know what happened in America for the last 6 months. I knew what was happening in Angola when I overheard the people talking politics or when they lamented about the state of things. We talked and we sat in comfortable silence until I saw something really strange.

About a 10 miles away it looked like the road just ended. As we got closer I realized that it was still there the area around it was gone for miles around. Incredibly deep holes all around the road.

"Xander what's that?" he drove a few miles closer and stopped about 50 feet from the hole on the side of the road.

"This my friend is Sunnydale my hometown." Without any discernable emotion.

"What a crappy home town." Xander didn't look offended in fact he was nodded his head in agreement. Then he opened his door, shut it and walked to the edge of the hole. I followed a little hesitantly as he seemed to be lost in thought while starring at the large hole in the ground.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine." he said without looking away from the hole. I looked at his face but it showed no emotion. I tried to break the uncomfortable silence by saying.

"We came all the way out here for this? It's just a big hole in the ground." Xander smiled weakly and sat down with his legs dangling in the hole.

"It may be just a hole in the ground to you but it's my home."

"My parents may be rich but I don't think that anyone would want to live in there."

"Well your not seeing what I am."

"I see a big hole what do you see?"he closed his eyes.

"I see the bronze when I spent most of my youth, when I wasn't hunting vampires and trying desperately not to fail math. I see my house not so many good memories there though. I see two schools one I helped blow up and the other one I helped build. Kind of ironic now that I think about it."

"So what exactly happened here?"

"Well according to the government the ground beneath Sunnydale was unstable. There was an earth quake predicted so most of the inhabitants left. Then the earthquake happened worse then expected and it imploded on itself."

"Let me guess that wasn't what really happened?"

"I never told you this story?"

"No."

"You remember about the first."

"Just that it's minion took your eye."

"It did a lot more then that. The first can take the form of anyone who is dead. After we brought Buffy back from the dead... I told you about that didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"Well when Buffy came back the first was activated sort of. Anyway it's goal was to eliminate all the slayers. It had minions called Bringers and they killed all the potential slayers. They killed the watchers too. So all the potential slayers that survived were being brought here. So that the slayers could protect them."

"That's when you saw Faith again?"

"Yep. The first had another minion Caleb he's the one that toke my eye. I was trying to protect a potential but Caleb had been too strong. There were these Uber-vamps and Buffy fought one and barely survived. They came out by this seal thing. This demon once used me to open it and it... sort of hurt. In the end there was only one way to win. Buffy found a scythe and Willow used her magic on it to make all the potential slayer into full blown slayers. Angel had come by with a medallion he had wanted to be the one to use it. But Buffy told him no and then she gave it Spike. The fight took place in the hell mouth and the medallion had filled the place with light and then it starting collapsing. And left just this." Xander said with barely a hint of sadness in his voice.

We sat in silence for awhile while Xander continued starring at the hole. I tried to imagine what this town had been liked before it was destroyed. But I couldn't imagine a town where vampires, demons and all sorts of other creatures lived and most of the population had no clue. I stood up I was getting a cramp.

"Xander can I have the keys?" he jumped.

"What?"

"Can I have the keys?"

"Um... no I'm ready to go.

" Are you sure you don't need any more time?" Xander shook his head slowly. Though I kind of wish he hadn't because we got back into the car. My nerves shot up ten levels the next stop was my house and everything that entailed.

Review please! I'm not above begging and I will really long and in detail if no one reviews.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Author's note: Get ready for a big chapter full of drama and sadness.

Xander came to a stop outside the gate of my parents house. He looked at me briefly, opened his door, stepped out and took a step toward the house.

"Wait!" I unintentionally shouted to Xander. He turned around with his eyebrows furrowed and eyes full of concern. "I'm sorry I'm not ready yet. Just-can I have another moment to collect myself?

"Yeah you can have as much time as you need as long as it's not years. I'm afraid I don't have the patience or stamina to wait years." I attempted to smile but it didn't really work. He sat back down and put his hand on my shoulder trying to lend me some support. It didn't help much but it helped a little bit I sent him an extremely weak smile.

I closed my eyes took several deep breaths then I took several more. Then I opened my eyes.

"I have to do this." it wasn't a question this time it was a statement.

"Yep." Xander answered anyway.

"I can do this?" I turned my head toward him needing his assurance. He looked me square in the eyes and said in the voice he did when we were training.

"You can do this." I opened my door and after a moments hesitation I stepped out of the car, into the Californian air I had known for my whole life. I looked up to my house. It seemed so much bigger than it had before I had left. Immediately I wanted to get back in and drive away anywhere. Xander walked around from his side of the door to mine and closed it. Then took the keys out and locked it. I sent him a dirty look for blocking off my exit. I looked back at my house and a tiny shiver went through me. I hesitantly took a few steps. Then seeing as I was in the middle of the street took a few more steps until I was on the sidewalk in front of my house. I walked up the long drive way and sooner then I would have liked I found myself at the door.

I took several deep breaths then I nervously knocked on the door. After a minute I heard steps toward the door and I know it was my mother. I told myself to breathe and tried to follow my own advice. The door opened and I was right it was my mother. She looked exactly like she had when I saw her last except for there was were a few more lines on her face. Worry lines because she had been worried about me. Right now she had a look of enormous surprise that I was here standing on the front porch.

"Seth?" tentatively like if she believed that I was really here I would disappear.

"Hi mom." I answered just as tentatively even though I was home things weren't just going back to normal instantly. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Oh my gosh Seth." she hugged me and it felt good until she didn't let go and I couldn't breath.

"Mom air becoming an issue." she released me and held and arm length looking for I don't know what. Then she starting crying.

"Seth you leave us with just a note and you don't even tell us where your going. How could you do that us? Before you called us we thought you were dead. My mind was always imagine the way you meet your demise." My heart sank I didn't want to hurt them I had just wanted to get away but hurt them I did.

"Are you going to come in or are you just gonna stay out there." I hesitated if I stepped over the threshold then there would be no going back. I would have to deal with it and would no longer be able to pretend that it didn't exist and that it had never happened. Then I slowly stepped into the house and over a little. I look at Kirsten wondering what we did now. She wasn't looking at me though she was looking at the door. I look at the door too and remembered that Xander had come with me for emotional support.

"He's with me." I said quickly. Kirsten look back towards me with a who-is-this look.

"This is Xander he protected me and gave me food. He protected me."She turned back towards him with a Luke-warm smile.

"Thanks for watching out for him and returning him."

"Hey, he wanted to come home I just helped him out a little."

"Well, thank you anyways."

"Your welcome." We went into the kitchen and I saw that she had redecorated everything that I could see.

"Gee mom I'm gone for six moths and you redecorate the whole thing?" came unintentionally out of my lips. I was horrified at what I said because it had sounded so mean.

"Mom I'm sorry it's good that you redecorated it looks very...nice." she tried to smile but it didn't come out very well. After a couple minutes of silence she cleared her throat and said.

"So, where have you been?"

"Angola, it's kind of a long story...one I don't really want to tell twice...so could you call Sandy or something? Or we could wait..." Kirsten looked like she didn't want to turn away like I would disappear. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I'll still be here when you turn around." she went to the phone.

"Sandy?" Then a few moments where I could faintly hear Sandy talk but I couldn't tell what he was saying.

"Can you come home?" again I could the faint Sandy noises.

"Seth's here." then she hung up.

"Seth. Why did you leave?"

"I already told you I can't tell this story more then once I just can't." I walked over to the television room and sunk into the couch. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I heard someone else sit down across from me. Then a few minutes later I heard someone else sit down. I opened my eyes. Kirsten was starring at me it made me really uncomfortable. Xander was looking all around the room for who knows what. I heard some rustling from what seemed like the kitchen.

"Hey Kirsten do we have any more..." Ryan stepped into the room.

"Seth."I saw him and he saw me and I gave him an questioning look

"Theresa had a miscarriage. I offered to stay with her until she was feeling better... but she said no so I came back."

"Oh that was...uh...very kind of you to offer to...uh-her."

"Yeah..."

"Ryan have you meet Xander ? He made sure I didn't die in Africa." knowing as I said it was the wrong thing to say as I said it. I avoided looking at Kirsten for her reaction. Ryan sat down next to Kirsten on the couch and I avoided looking anyone in the eye for a few minutes.

Suddenly the door slammed open then shut. I winced that would be Sandy. He came into the room looking exactly the same as I last saw him only near tears.

"Seth." he walked up to me quickly, pulled me up from the couch and started hugging me. A silent tear went down my face. He held me at arms length too also trying to see if I was physically okay.

"Hey Seth, I'm glad your ok. You are ok aren't you?" I wiped my face with the back of my sleeve.

"More or less." I said and Xander glared at me because I lied and had an opportunity to say it without having to bring it up. I know I had to tell them but I couldn't tell them yet.

"Seth please tell us."

"I left on my boat at first I was going to Tahiti but then my map went overboard. Somehow I ended up in Angola I'm still not sure how. Xander was there he spoke the language and English. Which made it possible for me and the people who lived there able to talk to each other. He made sure I was feed and clothed and had shelter. He taught me how to speak Umbundu. Though I'm not exactly fluent in it I do know quite a bit. Xander tried to get me to return home and eventually I conceded." Kirsten bit her lip and said.

"That doesn't answer why."

"I know." I took a very deep breath and wished that I could just disappear. Once I told them I would have to deal with it. They wouldn't be as easily dissuaded as Xander had been. I looked at my knees, opened my mouth and said.

"A couple weeks before I left...something happened...to me. I got hurt bad...inside...I could handle it while Ryan was here but once he left I couldn't. I didn't want to deal with it...so I left." I looked up to see if they understood what I was trying to say. All three of them had excess moisture in their eyes. Sandy and Kirsten were openly crying and Ryan was trying to be strong but I could see a crack in his armor.

"Do you know who did it?"

"No I couldn't see their face."

"Why couldn't you have confided in us instead of running away?"Sandy asked.

"I couldn't confide in anyone." I discovered there was moisture on my checks and my breathing was kind of shaky. "I couldn't even... think of it... for the longest time. There was no way I could have said it." Then suddenly I had two pairs of arms wrapped around me. I felt safe and warm and for a few seconds I was no longer nervous just content. Wishing this moment would last forever.

Eventually they let go some what reluctantly. They settled for smiling and anxiously x-raying my body with their eyes. I took a few deep breaths.

"I love you."

"We love you too." Said Sandy and Kirsten. I looked over to Ryan he was looking uncomfortable.

"I'm glad you're here Ryan." Ryan smiled awkwardly not used to dealing with these kind of situations. Gang fights, drugs, alcohol all Ryan's territory talking about feelings not so much. Not that I was very good at it either as I had avoided it for 6 months.

"Me too." I smiled awkwardly back. I yawned and realized that even though I slept on the plane I was tired.

"I'm tired can we leave the rest of this for another day?" They all nodded one by one and I stood up and I went upstair to my room. It looked pretty much the same as when I left it, relatively untouched. Suddenly I overcame with giddiness about being back in my own bedroom. Being to sleep in my own room.

"My bed!" I immediately went into my bed and under the covers.

"I missed you bed your so warm and comfortable. Oh don't think I didn't miss you pillows or you blanket. Oh I think I'm in heaven!" Xander came in.

"Do you and you bed need a moment?"

"I'm not sure if the bed ready to commit to anything at the moment; it probably has abandonment issues."

"Quite possibly and the fact you've been cheating on it with your bed in Angola."

"My bed is probably very crushed about that. I'm sorry bed are you going to forgive me?"

"Ok that's a little too much bed talk for me."

"So how's the guest room" I said changing the subject.

"Well maybe not to your extent I also found the sleeping arrangements adequate."

"Hello there's more pillows on that bed then in your last place."

"Yeah but back in Angola it was mine, slightly more personalized."

"Picky, picky , picky." Then my eyes went around the room again and settled on Captain Oats. I picked him up. I wrapped my arms around him and fell into bed with him. I heard the door of my room close and assumed that Xander had left.

"Oh it's Captain Oats! I'm sorry Captain Oats I wanted to take you but I thought it over and it was a dangerous journey. The map and the grill didn't make it and what if you had gone over with them? So you agree it was best for you to stay home. Yeah I missed you too." I put him back on my drawers and looked around my room contentedly. The tiredness came back over me swiftly and even though the lights were still on in the room I fell into a deep sleep. A peaceful sleep.

Author's note: How was that? Review and tell me what you think?


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

I opened my eyes slightly and noticed something was different. Then I realized I was back in my room. On my nice soft bed surrounded by nice soft pillows. I stood up and glanced around the room smiling slightly. It looked exactly the same, nothing had moved.

I went to the bathroom and smiled more. It was my bathroom I knew the layout. I knew where things were and things weren't moved here either. That's when I realized that I was hungry. I considered getting dressed but dismissed it just as quickly. What was the use of being home if I couldn't feel like I was at home.

I went down the stair and started smearing myself a bagel with zest. I hadn't had a bagel in about 6 months. Not that the food in Angola had been bad it was just different. I sat down and admired the bagel for a minute taking in the smell and look of it. Then I started devouring it like I had never had a bagel before. Before I knew it the bagel was gone and I was still hungry so I started smearing myself another bagel. Before I knew it that bagel was gone too but this time I was full.

I sat back down looking at the kitchen. It was changed completely remodeled, different. My heart sank because since it was different it meant that time had passed since I had been gone. Which I knew it had, I had just kind of hoped that it hadn't, that time had stayed still. That when I came back no time would have passed. That my parents wouldn't have worried. But time had passed and my parents had worried which I could see just by the remodeling.

I heard the door open and Ryan came in the door not seeming to notice me. Ryan came and sat next to me then he looked over at me and jumped. He had forgotten that I was here. For some reason I found that funny and I smiled. Ryan started smearing himself a bagel and more casually then I could have managed if it had been me asked.

"So Seth you want to do something..." After a few seconds of me not saying anything he said.

"We don't have to talk...we can just play video games or something." I found a certain spot on the floor incredibly interesting just then and barely managed to squeeze out.

"Um...not today ok?"

"Yeah... that's totally fine." It was obvious from his face that it wasn't totally fine, he was hurt. I didn't know what to do about it though. So I left the room, as I was leaving I saw Xander standing at the doorway to the kitchen. Xander had most likely been eavesdropping on the disaster of a conversation I had just with Ryan. I ignored him and went back to my room I could hear footstep following me most likely Xander's. As soon as we were in my room with the door closed he turned to me disappointed.

"You just blew him off." I winced I knew I had but the way Xander said it made me feel horrible.

"I know I can't stop it. I'm trying to revert to the old Seth I can't seem to." I said with my eyes downcast.

"Well maybe you can't"

"Can't what?"

"Be old Seth.. "

" Maybe you have to make yourself into the new Seth Cohen. The best of the best Seth's Newport and Angola Seth."

"What would I do without you."

"You'd be fine. You have a wonderful family who loves and cares if your happy or sad. I' m not going to be here forever and Ryan genuinely cares about you. If you weren't such a block head you would realize that." I knew that reference in the back of my head but I couldn't recall it.

"Block head?"

"Charlie Brown."

"Oh..." I trailed off. I didn't really want to talk about this anymore. Xander seemed to understand because he smiled slightly and said.

"Well I'm going to have myself some breakfast too and try to work some damage control with Ryan." he said opening the door when he was in the door way I suddenly said.

"Thank you." He stopped briefly and without turning around said

"Don't thank me just try to work on your people skills." I tried to smile it just didn't work very well. Xander was already gone so at least he didn't see my pathetic attempt at a smile. Why couldn't I react to Ryan? What was wrong with me? Had I become so disconnected that I could no interact normally? With these depressing thoughts in my head I settled in for another long hard day of emotion torture.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC chapter 16

Today we were going to Harbor to see if Sandy and Xander could get me reinstated. I was kinda of nervous because if I got into Harbor, things could go back to normal I could be back on track with my college plans. I would have to go to summer school or take some online classes but that was ok. I had already talk with Kirsten and Sandy about it, as well as the rest of the uncomfortable stuff I had promised to tell them. But as long as I got back into Harbor things would go well. There was only one problem Harbor was very much against students taking 3 months off for any reason. So I just had to hope that Xander and Sandy could get me back in.

I was dressed in my nicest suit as was Sandy. Xander didn't own a suit and couldn't fit into Sandy's so he had on his nicest jeans and a button up t-shirt on. We were sitting in the waiting area and had been sitting there for awhile. We had gotten here an half an hour early because we didn't want to risk possibly being late. Sandy had only gotten us an appointment with Dr. Kim because he used his superb lawyer skills. After about fifteen minutes of waiting, which was driving me up the wall I finally heard.

"Seth Cohen?" asked the receptionist. I stood up and smoothed out my pants and saw Xander and Sandy do the same. We followed the receptionist until she motioned us towards an open door and left. I took a very deep breath and followed Sandy and Xander into the room.

The room was what you would probably expect a principals office to like only with better taste. There was a large mahogany desk. On one side of the desk were several chairs. Xander and Sandy took a chair so I quickly followed suit. On the other side of course was the reason we were here; Dr. Kim . Dr. Kim was looking at me and I found the gaze incredibly disturbing. Also I didn't know what to do should I stare back at her or look away. If I kept on starring at her I might appear defiant. If I looked away I might appear like I didn't want this.

Thankfully she made my decision for me and starting staring down Sandy follow by Xander. She starred down Xander longer then Sandy or me. Most likely because she had never seen him before and was wondering why he was here. Then she looked back at me and I wished she had taken a longer time to stare down Xander. I had to say something, anything instead of just staring at her stupidly. So I said the first thing that came into my head.

"Hello Dr. Kim." I said as respectfully and earnestly as possible.

"Hello Seth." she said without any discernable emotion. Then she turned to Sandy again.

"You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes I think you know what this is about. I would like to enroll Seth back into school." Dr. Kim smiled but it wasn't all together a pleasant smile.

"Seth would have been accepted if he had been here when the school year started but he wasn't. It is not the practice of this school to allow children to start late."

"I understand that but these were extenuating circumstances."

"How so?" said Dr. Kim not looking particularly interested.

"Seth at the end of last year was raped." Dr. Kim flicked back to me with surprise and sympathy and I just want to crawl under my chair and die."He left the OC. He left California he left the United States and somehow ended in Angola. Where he lived up until a week ago."

"How do I know if your telling the truth."

"Seth told me."

"How do I know if Seth telling the truth." It was my turn I cleared my throat then when I couldn't speak I cleared my throat again. Then in Umbundu said _I'm telling the truth_. Then Xander took over.

"That's Umbundu for I'm telling the truth. I've lived in Angola for a year and before that I lived in South Africa and various other African countries. I meet Seth when he came to Angola he was very distraught but now he wants a chance. So that something he had no control over, because of his reaction to it won't ruin the rest of his life. He's a great kid I came all the way out to California with him because he's a great kid. Eventually I'll be leaving but I want to leave him with a chance at a future. " I was looking at Dr. Kim trying to see what she was thinking, but she wasn't letting show on her face. Then she delicately asked.

"How would I know if Seth was really speaking Swahili or not?"

"I didn't say Swahili I said Umbundu."Dr Kim blushed slightly.

"Really I've always been interested in Umbundu.'

"I could teach you."

"But you're leaving aren't you?"

"Yes it's very unfortunate." Then Dr. Kim seemed to realize that Sandy and Seth were there and composed herself. She squared her shoulder then cleared her throat then looked at me appraising me somehow. Then she seemed to have come to a decision.

"Ok I will admit Seth back into Harbor on two conditions. One he sees a therapist. Two he has to complete 40 hours of community service. I'll give you this warning at the sign of any trouble I reserve the right to unextend this invitation. Are you willing to abide by these rules.

"Yes I do those things thank you Dr. Kim." I stood up and shook her hand and waited while Xander and Sandy shook her hand. We then got out of Doctor Kim's office and I was feeling good . I was allowed back in things were getting back to normal. Once we got to the car I feeling good enough to jest and asked Xander

"Were you flirting with my principal?"Xander shivered.

"What it seemed like you got along really well."

"She's a teacher for me that automatically equal alwg." Accompanied by a shiver. " Now if she hadn't been principal I could see us together." it was my turn to shiver with disgust it was too weird to picture them together. I smiled quickly after, it was all ok now, I got back into school. I would have to go to therapy which wouldn't be fun but I hadn't screwed up my future with the detour I took.

Author's note: After this one chapters will probably be significantly shorter.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Tomorrow I was going to start school. So today was my last day of relaxing. I was spending it on the couch watching television with Xander. Suddenly in the middle of a rerun of Days of our Lives I thought of something.

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"I looked at Xander his eyes were glazed he wasn't paying me any attention he was still watching the tv.

"So...why did you never force me to go ?" he tore his eyes off the television and settled them squarely on me. He didn't say anything for a second then said.

"Remember when you called your dad?" Of course I did it excruciatingly painful. Xander knew that, he had made me talk to him.

"Yeah." I answered simply leaving all the other stuff out.

"I hit redial and called him...I asked him... he said that forcing you to go back would only make you want to run away again. He wanted you to choose to come back yourself." huh I had never even thought about that. Of course I hadn't even thought about why he hadn't made me go back until now. That sparked another question though and I asked.

"What about the 3 months previous to that."

"It was summer you were learning things and I hadn't made up my mind weather or not to let you stay yet."

"So you made me call my dad so you could get the number and called him back?"

"Yep."

"I would have never thought that Dad would have said that."

"Your dad's pretty smart.. He knows his son and knows that you had to choose to come back yourself.

"Yeah but don't tell him it'll go to his head." I said trying to make light of the situation. Xander laughed as well and turned his attention back on the tv. Then just as soon shoot up.

"Oh great now I missed the ending. How will I know if John get better or not?"I couldn't help it I started laughing.

"Oh you think it's so funny, you were watching it the same as me." Xander jabbing his finger at me.

"Yeah well..."

"See you like Days of our Lives as much as I do admit it. Admit it!" Seth rolled his eyes they must be really bored to be having an argument like this.

"Fine I like Days of our Lives are you happy now?" I said dispassionately.

"Extremely."Xander said then sat down and snuggled back into the groove he had made previously. I laughed again and this time Xander laughed with me. Tomorrow I would have endure the hell of school but for today. I could just sit with pleasant company and enjoy my last day before hell.

Author note: So sorry it took so long for such a short sucky chapter. Also I don't watch days of our lives so I made up a name so if there is a John then great. If not then insert name actually in the show for John.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

I was lucky somewhat. I had mostly just missed the first quarter. Unfortunately I couldn't understand anything in any of my classes. It was like they were speaking a foreign language using words I already knew. Classes were the easy part though. The hard part was when there were no teachers around like lunch which was right now.

Everyone was looking at me. Did everyone know? No they couldn't of. They were starring at me because I had been gone for so long and managed to get back in. They were wondering what had happened to me that I would have left for 6 months. I could feel their eyes on me and it was starting to suffocate me. I lost my appetite and put the rest of my food in the garbage. I sighed and even though there was 10 minutes till the start of class. I started walking toward my next class anyway.

I was walking to class when I saw Summer and my heart plummeted into my stomach. Other then my family, Summer was the one I had messed up the most with. Even more because I refused to tell her about what had happened to me. So she hated me where as my family understood.

Then the worst thing happened, she saw me. I could see her look of distrust and how she hastily went the other way from me. I turned ashamed to walk the other way to my class when I came upon Chase.

Chase was on the water polo team, and like most of his team mates, enjoyed making my life a living hell. I knew I could expect no sympathy from him, only harsh insults which was likely to make my already sucky day even suckier.

"Oh look the little weasel runs away and comes crawling back" I couldn't think of anything to say to that, that wouldn't put me in an even worse light. So I didn't say anything at all. Just keep my gaze to the ground and went on walking to my next class.

"Hey!" I glanced up and remembered that Ryan had despite my not so great attitude towards him recently. Had decided to walk me to every class to make sure that no one bothered me. What he didn't know was that if they got physical, I would win if I decided to fight back. I felt something pushed hard into my shoulder I looked and saw Chase leering at me.

"Hey queer I wasn't done talking to you." Ryan was in his angry-protective mode.

"Hey leave him alone." Chase smirked.

"Oh you want me to leave your boyfriend alone? Don't you want to know why he left. Probably had another boy friend. Or maybe he just couldn't stand being around you. Or maybe he's just an ugly" then Chase called my mother a bad name as he leered.

Ryan looked he wanted to hit Chase.

"Ryan don't" I whispered. Ryan wavered for a minute then looked at me.

"Ok for you I won't."

"Thank you." Chase seemed to get that saying anything more would result in a bone fracture or two, because he merely glared then left. I went to my class pre-calc and drowned in the massive amount of information I was expected to know. After class I joined the swarm of people trying to reach the exits. I hated being so close to everyone, it was making feel like I couldn't breathe. As soon as I got outside, I put my hands on my knees with my back curved and breathed deeply. Which only caused more people to look at me strangely. Once I regained my breath I walked to the car where Ryan was already waiting for me looking worried. Once I sat down I looked out the window. I could feel Ryan eyes on me but hoped he wouldn't try to get me to open up. I could hear Ryan sigh and almost turned around but managed to stop myself. When we stopped I looked forward quickly to make sure we we're home, and not some attempt to make me talk. We were.

I ran up my room and got into the corner of it on the floor. It was harder and it seemed more like the floor of my place in Angola. While I there I could pretend I was Angola not in my home feeling wetness slid down my checks. It had all been too much. Summer, Chase seeing how far behind I was it had all been too much. I didn't want to cry but that didn't stop the moisture from escaping. After a couple minutes I heard the door open and some steps coming towards me.

"Seth?"I hid my face with my hands not wanting Xander to see me cry. "Seth." Xander said again this time softer. He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched.

"Sorry." he said and took his hand off my shoulder. And felt him sit down next me.

"That bad?" I wiped my eyes and looked at Xander he seemed to guess the answer.

"I'm sorry Seth." I shook my head.

"It's not your fault...it's mine I shouldn't have ran away like I did."

"No you shouldn't have." I looked up shocked I had expected Xander to sooth me not agree with me. "But you did and your going to have to get used to what people say about you now."

"I don't want to." he smiled sympathetically.

"I know you don't Seth, but your going to have to." I looked down to my knees. I knew he was right but it was easier said then done.

"Thank you Xander for being here for me."

"Seth, sooner or later I'm going to leave, and your going to have to rely on your family you do understand that don't you?" I nodded but tried not to think about it. It was easier to talk to Xander because he had been through a lot of the same things unlike my family. But I also knew it wasn't my family fault they hadn't been through it. In fact I liked that they hadn't been through it, I wouldn't have wished what I had gone through even to Chase.

"Seth?" I shook my head I hadn't been paying attention had he said something.

"What?"

"Seth are you going to be ok when I leave?" I didn't really know. I wanted to be alright but I didn't know.

"I don't know." I replied honestly.

"Well I do. Your going to be fine. Ok? "He smiled and I smiled back weakly.

"Thank you Xander...just thank you."We both smiled and I hoped that even though I knew that Xander would leave he wouldn't do it for a while


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Lettuce, tomato, lunch meat , and cheese hopefully my cure for a not so great day of school. I heard some sounds behind me then heard.

"Seth." I turned around it was Xander holding bags.

"Your leaving?" trying not to let my voice crack which unfortunately didn't work. Xander smiled sadly and replied.

"I have to go. My first training session is on Monday...Besides you've kinda of been relying on me and I get the feeling that your family wants you to talk to them." moisture started dripping from my eyes but this time I made no effort to stop them. Instead sounded like a child I asked.

"Can't I come with you." Xander shook his head while saying.

"Seth your 16 so I'm gonna to have to say no." I hugged him and managed to get out.

"I'll miss you."

"Me too but we'll phone and email it'll be like I'm still here. "

"Lair about it being like you were still here." he took a letter out of his bag and handed it to me.

"This is a letter for your parents now you can't read it just give it to them. Don't block them out unlike my family your's actually cares. Your's will actually talk to you if you let them. Let them. Seth I won't be here any longer so Seth you've got to let them in." I looked down at my feet I know that Xander was right but it was so hard for me to open up to them.

"Seth promise you'll try." I nodded.

"Seth I mean it verbally promise me you'll try." he forced my head up so that he could see into my eyes.

"Ok."

"Ok what?"

"Ok I promise I'll try." It wasn't exactly what Xander wanted to hear but he seemed ok with it. Which meant I could go back to looking at my feet.

"Seth I only want for you to be ok."

"I know." I said.

"I'm really really really going to miss you." Xander let out a short laugh.

"Seth I know you will but I also know your going to be ok. Maybe not right away but eventually you will be ok." I smiled slightly at the faith he had in me when I had so little in myself. He grabbed me in a bear hug and we stayed like that for a minute. Then he let me go grabbed his bags and said.

"Bye Seth."

"Bye Xander." he turned around and headed out the door.

I sat down on the sofa thinking if I could go on without him and about 10 minutes later I heard.

"Where's your friend." said Kirsten. I turned towards her and handed her the letter.

"He left he asked me to give this to you." she was looking at me with concern.

"Are you ok?" I nodded but I wasn't sure if I could be without him. Ryan walked in and I knew I could be I had to be. I stood up with a smile on my face it was mostly fake but there was a small part of it that was real..

"Hey Ryan you wanna play that ninja game?"

Author's note: Sorry for the incredibly short chapter and don't worry that's not the last we're going to be seeing of Xander. Also I didn't mean for this chapter to be as angsty as it turned out. What do you think of it?


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Author's note: Sorry about the length of time between updates. Also this chapter has a lot to do with the rape so just warning you ahead of time.

I woke up with a start. Looking around seeing I was home and not back... not back there. I started breathing heavily. I hastily got up and went into the bathroom. Locking the door behind me I stripped down turned the water on and started scrubbing myself vigorously. Like I hadn't since I had left.

Xander was no longer here so I was on my own again. Only I knew I wasn't really. They were here for me it was just me who was afraid to talk to them. Which why my skin was getting pinker and pinker and started bleeding. When I saw that I was bleeding I closed me eyes and starting deep breaths until I was ok enough to think rationally. Then I washed the blood off and toweled off.

I examined the cuts and winced had I really done that to myself? I sighed and looked at my discarded clothing. I hadn't really been thinking when I had rushed into the bathroom. And if anyone saw my cuts...well that would be a conversation that I didn't want to have. But before I even thought of how I was going to get back to my room I had to disinfect my cuts.

I opened the medicine cabinet took out the alcohol and swabbed my cuts. It didn't hurt too much because I was used to the alcohol from patrolling incidents. Then I put band-aids on the small cuts. I looked at myself in the mirror. My body looked strange with all the band-aids on it, I shook my head to clear my head. I took my abandoned clothes and sighed I would have to put them back on at least it would only be temporary.

I got to my room without incident and got dressed into clean clothes. My stomach rumbled, until then I hadn't realized that I was hungry. So I went into the kitchen I was about to get myself a bowl of cereal when saw Ryan. Ryan was sitting at the table I wanted to go back to my room but Ryan turned around. There was no way I could leave now not without being an incredible jerk. So I turned my back and started pouring some Lucky Charms into a bowl. All the time focusing solely on the bowl and nothing else in the room. Then pouring the milk I knew that Ryan was probably staring at me and I winced.

I knew I had to do this I had to talk to him get used to him over again and running away wouldn't help anything. I sighed then turned around and forced myself to sit by him. I could tell Ryan was looking at me. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back, but I couldn't think of anything to say. There was a long couple minutes of silence which finally broken when Ryan tentatively said.

"Hey" I couldn't look at him and instead focused on my Lucky Charms. I breathed in and forced myself to say something.

"Hey Ryan ." I said trying not to feel so anxious. Reminding myself of the past and the way we used to be.

"So... how are you feeling?" I starred at my Lucky Charms while I said.

"Better." after a few more minutes Ryan asked.

"So...how has your day been...so far?" I smiled minutely Ryan was never good at the small talk or any talk for that matter.

"Good." I said slightly easier.

"Oh that's good that you've been good I've been good as well." he was babbling Ryan Atwood was babbling. He was usually a man of few words and well... he was really trying. I made myself look at him for a moment. He was looking at me and seemed very surprised when he saw my eyes.

"Seth?" Which I could tell meant are you ok? I averted my eyes then swallowed and looked back into Ryan's.

"I'm ok."

"Is there anything I can do...?" I averted my eyes again. Boy was that a loaded question. Will you hold me as I break down and cry? Will you tell me that I'm not as dirty as I feel? Will you tell me that I'm worth more then that? The truth is that Ryan would probably do any of the things if I asked him but I couldn't so I just said.

"Protect me." Ryan smiled slightly he had always protected me since he knew me.

" What else would I do?" I smiled slightly back at him. It was silent again but it wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been since I had come back. We weren't the same as we before I left but we we're getting back to that. After a few minutes Ryan asked

"So..do you want to do something?" I bit my lip but answered.

"Like what?"

"Whatever you want is fine." I smiled slightly but had no clue what I wanted to do. What did we used to do? It seemed like such a long time ago. Anything outside was out of the question people stared at me out there. Inside it would have to be. Which meant either video games , tv or a movie. The least awkward would probably be video games. Which they had done before right after Xander had left although not for long because Seth had started to get awkward. Hopefully this time it would be less awkward since they had talked.

"Video games?" I said quickly. Ryan smiled and said.

"I'm going to kick your butt." I smiled this time a full smile.

"No no no I'm going to kick your's."

Author's note: the stories will be the same until chapter 24 just so you know.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't the OC or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Things had gotten better. With my parents, with Ryan, and even at school I was mostly caught up now thanks to a lot of late night homework session. Even with me now I was seeing a therapist and my...rape was easier to talk about.

But I wasn't thinking about that right now. Right now I was thinking of the best way to tear Ryan's head off. That is Ryan video game guy. That is until he got the upper hand and starting wailing on me.

"Oh no you don't." I countered and started getting the upper hand. Then I won and put the controller down and looked at Ryan.

"Oh yeah I just won. Who just won? Me I did." Ryan just looked at me good natured.

"I'm hungry." I said suddenly. " Are you hungry?" I waited for Ryan to answer.

"Yeah I'm a little hungry." So we started eating and when they were done they started playing again.

But this time I wasn't fully paying attention. I was thinking. I had been wanting to apologize for the way I treated Ryan for awhile now but couldn't think of how to do it.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah." I paused the game and he looked at me.

"I'm really sorry about how I treated you."

"S'ok." Ryan said nonchalant. But I knew he was lying I could see how hurt he was when I choose Xander over him. But Ryan wasn't the wear your heart on your sleeve type. More like the brood about it when no one's looking type.

"But seriously I'm really sorry." I unpaused the game. And a few minutes later Ryan said.

"Thank you." I almost dropped my controller but just smiled and kept on playing.

Author's note: I'm sorry it was short. So what do you think? What do you like better? Page long entries or shorter ones that are updated more regularly with holes like Swiss cheese.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Author's note: As always sorry for the bad updating and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

I was doing my homework. School was starting to get better since I was closer with Ryan and he did his best to protect me. People started ignoring me again which I never before thought would be a good thing. Over all things were taking a turn for the better.

I heard a knock on my door, which interrupted the intense thinking I was doing for my calculus class. I grumbled slightly considered getting up to answer the door, then decided against it.

"Come in." I yelled through the door. Mom came in and gave me the phone.

"Seth it's for you it's Xander." A small smile formed on my face, I hadn't heard from him since he had left. Which had only been 4 days, but spending every day with him for the past six months, the four days felt like for ever.

"Thanks." she smiled and left the room closing the door behind her.

"Hey liar." Mentioning his promise casually.

"Hey...Seth." he returned rather weakly.

"Man that sucked." I said.

" I know I'm just really tired the first day and all it's very tiring." he did sound very tired and something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but I couldn't just let him off with that.

"That no excuse what would your friends say if they heard you had no come back." there was a long pause in which I was wondering whether or not I had just stepped onto a land mine.

"Probably not much since I told them...they would probably just said... oh...or it's understandable."

"Wow! You just zapped all the fun out the conversation."

"I know I'm sorry." he said somewhat subdued which was completely understandable.

"So how did it go?" I asked concerned.

"Um... as well as could be expected there was some crying and asking why I didn't tell them sooner. Some hugging and some more crying." he said without any trace of emotion which usually didn't bode well.

"Are you ok?"even more concerned.

"I don't even know to tell you the truth. It was easier when they didn't know. When they believed I was just really clumsy."

"I can imagine. Wait I don't have to I lived it." there was a slight chuckle on the other end.

"How's that going?" Oh my turn it was always better when it was Xander's turn.

"I'm in therapy. It's really hard talking about it to her but it's getting easier. " My breath shaking slightly.

"Yeah I'm thinking about doing that as well...Is it helping?" his voice was also shaking more then slightly.

"Yeah...I think...so." there was a long pause and just when I thought the call might have been dropped I heard.

"Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we do the right thing in telling our families?" I was very surprised that Xander of all people would ask that. All the work he took to get me home...I considered the question. Did we do the right thing when they told our families? I surprised myself when I answered.

"Yes, we did the right thing." I heard Xander exhale loudly.

"Yeah, I know it's just so hard being around them when I haven't seen them in over 2 years."

"Their the closest thing you have to a family how could stay away that long?" There was a long pause and just when I thought that Xander wasn't going to answer he said.

"After some time it was just easier to stay away."

"Yeah I definitely know how that is."

"I thought you might." I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled too and I took in my room and the mass amounts of homework I had to do and sighed.

"Xander as much as I love talking to you I have to get working on my homework or else I'll never catch up. "

"Ok Seth go tackle that mountain talk to you later?"

"Most definitely."

"Bye Seth."

"Bye Xander." I removed the phone from my ear and clicked it off. It was good to hear and talk to him. I turned my eyes back to the problem at hand and despaired. But I went straight back to my calculus book and it suddenly made sense to me. I wrote it down before I could forget my epiphany and reminded myself to thank Xander later.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer or the OC

Author's Note: This part the point of view shifts midway.

Seth's POV

There she was. The she in question was Summer. I had been trying to talk to her all week but when ever she saw me she would walk the other way. It was really frustrating because there was something I really wanted to talk to her about. It's not like I didn't know why she was running away I did I just wished she wouldn't run away just once so I could talk to her.

I turned the corner and saw her and I didn't want her to leave me again.

"Summer...Summer..." I was pretty sure from this distance she could hear me and she was just ignoring me. So I speed up and cut her off.

"Summer can we talk ?!"

"No." she tried to dodge around me but I moved my body to block her.

"Since we never officially broke up-"

"- Because you ran away with your tail in between your legs." she yelled her face contorted in rage.

"Be that as it may I would like to speak to you alone even if it's just for a few minutes. If you decide you are willing to hive me a few minutes meet me at the entrance to the crab shack at 7:00 o'clock. Hope to see you there. Bye." I walked away hoping she would showed up.

Summers POV

I decided to go meet him even though I was still really mad at him. Part of me still loved him but I was unwilling to forgive him for leaving me like that. Besides I had Zack right now and he was everything I wanted so it didn't matter what Seth said.

I was kind of early getting psyched up for the conversation. I was dressed to kill wearing an outfit that would make Cohen wish that he had never left me. Short black skirt. Blue tank top and stilettoes. I was completely ready to talk to him to throw all the things he did to me back at him if he begged. I didn't want him make a scene in the name of getting me back. I just wanted him to accept that he screwed up and let me and Zack be happy.

"I heard your dating Zack." I jumped and turned around I hadn't heard him come up. I didn't like that he had made me jump so more snidely that I might have I said

"Not that it's any of your business but yes I am." I braced myself for his begging and pleading and was shocked when all he said was.

"Do you love him?" I swallowed. I was confused I hadn't prepared myself for this but answered snidely.

"Again not that it's any of your business but yes." Maybe now he would beg and plead.

"Then I hope you two will be very happy together." he said and turned away. "And Summer I'm sorry I left with nothing but a letter. You deserve much better then that I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you.

He walked away and for some reason him not making a scene or not asking if I loved him. Not saying that me and him should end up together, it didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Author note: This is the last one that will be on both. Starting on the next one the story will start dividing and leaving a bigger and bigger gap between them.


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